


hold me (very) close

by symphorine



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Fluff, Getting Back Together, M/M, Mutual Pining, Sharing Clothes, Sharing a Bed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-14
Updated: 2017-05-14
Packaged: 2018-10-31 15:30:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10902189
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/symphorine/pseuds/symphorine
Summary: At the time, it seemed like a good idea.Scratch that. It wasnevera good idea. Kuroo is good at a lot of things, but not enough to fool himself into thinking that inviting his ex (who he may or may not have lingering feelings for) to stay with him, even just for a few days, is anywhere in the vicinity ofsmart.But hey, he's a grown adult, and so is Daichi, and he's just doing him a favor! It was staying in Kuroo's apartment or finding a cheap hotel, and at least, after two years of rooming, and dating, in college, they know how to coexist.-Daichi, now an author successful enough to be interviewed for a TV show, needs a place to stay for the occasion. Kuroo offers his apartment before he realizes the flaw in that plan.It's just a few days of living with Daichi again. Everything's gonna befine.





	hold me (very) close

**Author's Note:**

  * For [candyharlot](https://archiveofourown.org/users/candyharlot/gifts).



> this is sort of a late entry for kurodai week day 6, distance.
> 
> it's also, way more importantly, my birthday gift to amanda <3 i had a lot of fun writing this for you, and i'm still super happy that you liked it. also thank you for offering to beta it before i published it, ur an angel and ur amazing and u make my days better and u make me feel warm even when i can barely feel my fingers and i love you SO MUCH
> 
> @ everyone else: enjoy the fic! (and as usual, sadly not explicit, but kuroo is ace, because that's how i roll)

 

At the time, it seemed like a good idea.

Scratch that. It was _never_ a good idea. Kuroo is good at a lot of things, but not enough to fool himself into thinking that inviting his ex (who he may or may not have lingering feelings for) to stay with him, even just for a few days, is anywhere in the vicinity of _smart_.

But hey, he's a grown adult, and so is Daichi, and he's just doing him a favor! It was staying in Kuroo's apartment or finding a cheap hotel, and at least, after two years of rooming, and dating, in college, they know how to coexist.

Judging by his face when Kuroo opens the door, though, Daichi isn't all that grateful right now. He's also completely drenched and holding a broken umbrella along with two bags, and _damn_ , Kuroo had almost forgotten how beautiful Daichi is. Skype calls just don't do him justice.

"Hi," he says, then immediately wishes he could become one with the puddle gathering around Daichi's feet.

"Kuroo," Daichi replies. "Can I come in?"

Kuroo rubs his neck and steps aside, opening the door wider. "Yeah, sure. Don't go dripping all over my floor, though."

Daichi snorts before dropping his luggage and bending down to untie his shoes. "It's not like I can control it, in case you hadn't noticed."

"No, no I had," Kuroo replies, kicking the door shut and taking Daichi's bags. "It's pretty hard to miss that you're auditioning for _Aquaman_."

"Could you maybe stop making fun of me and _help_?"

Kuroo takes a second to reflect, then decides that the ratio of fond to pissed off in Daichi's voice isn't favorable enough for him to keep being a smartass for now. He flashes Daichi a grin, then hauls the bags next to the bed before going to his closet and rifling through his shirts.

"Hey!" he calls, waiting for Daichi to look up. "Here."

He throws him a shirt, then a pair of sweatpants, and Daichi catches them with ease and a frown. He holds them up, raising his eyebrows in a silent question.

"To wear, idiot," Kuroo quips. "It would be a shame if you caught a cold just before your big night."

Daichi mumbles his thanks. "Is that the bathroom?"

"Aw, what, you don't want to change in front of me?" Kuroo leans against the wall. "I've already seen you naked, you know."

Daichi points at him. "See? This is _exactly_ why I don't want to change in front of you. Go make me tea instead of ogling me."

Kuroo knows by the softness around his eyes that the exasperation is just a front. Something in his body settles at the realization that Daichi doesn't hate being here.

Well, not _yet_. It's only been five minutes.

Kuroo gives Daichi a half-hearted reverence before complying and starting tea, and moves on to ordering pizza, hoping Daichi's taste hasn't changed too much in the last two years.

Daichi comes out of the bathroom just as he hangs up, holding his wet clothes against his chest.

"There's hangers in there," Kuroo tells him, waving his phone in a vague gesture toward his closet. "Feel free to use ‘em."

"Glad to see you're still extremely organized," Daichi mocks, and Kuroo hears him rummage through everything he has piled up in there.

"Hey, it's called optimizing your space. If it's in the closet, it's not anywhere else."

Daichi rolls his eyes at him, then finally finds a couple of hangers and takes a step back to put his clothes on them, getting into Kuroo's field of vision.

It's been awhile since Kuroo has seen Daichi in _his_ clothes. It's been awhile since he's seen Daichi at _all_ , what with living on opposite ends of the country, but at least there have been regular Skype calls and the occasional picture to keep him used to Daichi's face.

 _This_ , Daichi standing in Kuroo's apartment, wearing one of Kuroo's old, stretched shirts and a pair of sweatpants that cling a little too tight to his legs, is something else entirely.

Kuroo shoves aside the feelings tightening his guts and grabs the two mugs of tea he's prepared, then walks over to where Daichi is struggling to reach the curtain rod.

"Still desperately short, I see," Kuroo points out, holding out one mug to counter Daichi's glare.

"You're not _that_ tall."

Daichi takes the mug with his free hand and Kuroo grins. "Yes, but what a useful advantage it is." He leans in to take the hanger out Daichi's hand and puts it on the rod effortlessly, then smiles down at Daichi, raising a provocative eyebrow.

"Thank you for the tea," Daichi declares, wholly unimpressed.

"You know they won't give you anything better at the studio tomorrow," Kuroo says, raising his own mug before taking a sip.

Daichi snorts. "I think they're a level above throwing a teabag into hot water. You're a shame to Japanese people everywhere."

"Yeah, I think I'll live."

Daichi shakes his head, then turns around, taking in the apartment for the first time. Kuroo starts tapping his nails against his mug as Daichi glances at his desk then starts perusing the shelves. He shouldn't be that nervous - Daichi has known about even his most shameful pleasures for years, anyway.

Still, Kuroo can't contain an apprehensive wince when Daichi stops and slides one book out of the shelf and into his hand. Then Daichi turns, and he gets a look at the cover.

"You have my book?" Daichi asks, looking between the volume and Kuroo with a confused frown.

"Well, yeah," Kuroo replies as he sits on his bed. "You told me about it, of course I read it."

Not only had he read it, he'd _preordered_ it, and then it sat for four weeks on the coffee table, various bills and documents thrown over it, somehow burning into Kuroo's mind every waking second until he'd decided to read it.

"I was surprised that you were such a good writer, actually," he keeps going when Daichi just stays there, silent. "Your papers in college were so concise that I'm pretty sure you got a penalty for it at some point."

Daichi's lips curve upwards and he puts the book back. "No, _you're_ the one who did. Because you forgot half of your explanation."

"Ah, college," Kuroo sighs. "Would you believe that I miss it?"

Daichi stops for a second, halfway into turning, and Kuroo catches a glimpse of the surprise on his face before Daichi smoothes out his expression.

"Really?" he asks.

Kuroo didn't know one word could be charged with so many possibilities. He bites his tongue, and is mercifully saved by the ring of the intercom.

"Oh, that must be the pizza." He does his best to hide his relief as he bolts up and towards the door.

"You made someone come over in this rain?" Daichi calls after him.

"It was them or us!"

The flawless logic doesn't stop Kuroo from feeling a little guilty, and he makes sure to tip the delivery girl generously. He takes his time to count change, until he's sure his mouth and his brain are on the same page again.

"Do you wanna watch something?" he offers when he comes back to the main room, pizza in hand.

Daichi is holding his mug with two hands, now, tracing mindless patterns with his thumb. He bites his lip, then tilts his head in agreement. "Sure, but I'm choosing."

"It's okay." Kuroo nods sagely, putting the pizza box on the coffee table. "I was prepared to be bored to death tonight."

Daichi frowns. "You _like_ watching my stuff."

"Correction: I like watching _you_ watching your stuff, here and there, in between naps."

"Time hasn't made you a better liar," Daichi retorts, hiding his smile with a last gulp of tea. "Give me that."

Kuroo hands him his own empty cup and watches Daichi move to the kitchen. He seems at ease, like he's always been here, and Kuroo _knows_ it's just an illusion, but he can't deny it pleases him. He'd thought the two years apart would bring boredom or empty conversations or, at the very least, awkwardness, but Daichi has been in his apartment for all of half an hour, and Kuroo already feels more at home here than he ever has.

He freezes at the thought. His hand twitches, and he digs his nails into his thigh to try to think about something else, but his eyes wander to where Daichi's book is still sticking out a little.

"Get a grip, idiot," Kuroo mumbles, inaudible under the sound of running water.

He grabs his laptop instead and busies himself with answering messages and emails. The water is turned off, and he can hear Daichi open and close the closets and swear under his breath. Seconds later, he's back, two glasses of water in his hands, along with a few paper towels.

"Leave me some space," he orders, waiting for Kuroo to fold his legs instead of taking up the entire length of the bed. "Here."

Kuroo takes the glass and pushes the laptop towards him. "Choose what you want."

He grabs a slice of pizza and settles back on the bed, taking advantage of the unusual size. He usually keeps it folded, which is far more than enough for him, but as much as he'd love to hold Daichi close again, there's no possible way they'd both fit on the bed in its single-sized state.

Predictably, Daichi settles on an obscure indie movie Kuroo's never heard of. Daichi gets some pizza too while the movie is loading, then scoots back to have his back against the wall and gets comfortable there. He's close - and god, Kuroo really should have thought this whole favor thing through, but how was he supposed to know that Daichi's proximity would light his skin on fire?

He watches the film with a distracted eye and chews as slowly as possible to avoid having the possibility to speak up and put his foot into his mouth. There's something a little bit unfair in this, he thinks, stealing glances at Daichi every now and then. He's enraptured in the movie, tense and relaxed in turn, and apparently oblivious to Kuroo's internal crisis.

Which is just as well, but still. Misery loves company, and all that.

"Are you even watching?" Daichi asks, startling him.

"Told you. Watching you is more entertaining than watching your movie," Kuroo retorts with a shrug, eating the last bite of his slice.

Daichi rolls his eyes, then lifts his arm. When Kuroo doesn't move, he beckons him closer.

"You sure?"

"Easier to smother you, in case you try being annoying," Daichi replies.

Kuroo decides to stop questioning his blessings and shifts closer. They are and have always been, first and foremost, friends, after all. He can make abstraction of his feelings and just enjoy the time spent with Daichi.

Kuroo tries to focus more on the movie, but despite what Daichi maintains, there is very little interesting about it. Kuroo lets his eyes drift shut, comfortably sleepy with the warmth of Daichi's arm around him.

He's jostled awake when Daichi moves, some time later. Kuroo cracks an eyelid open to see the people who must be the main character yelling things at each other, and a look at Daichi's glistening eyes confirms that the situation in the movie is probably hopeless.

Kuroo closes his eyes again, but keeps an ear open to know when the movie ends. He keeps them tactfully closed for two minutes more after the end credits music starts playing, then he sits up and grimaces at the pain in his neck.

"I remembered you being more comfortable than this," Kuroo mutters while he tries to stretch.

"That’s entirely on you," Daichi retorts with a last sniffle. "You've never learned how to sleep in a normal position."

"Why should I? It gives me a sick ass hairstyle."

"I should have noticed there was no hairbrush in your bathroom."

"There is!"

Daichi narrows his eyes, unimpressed. "For when Kozume comes over, I suppose."

"...It is theirs, actually," Kuroo admits. "They left it once and never think to take it back."

That gets a snort out of Daichi, and he takes back his arm to stretch too. "What time is it?"

"Nine thirty," Kuroo says after a quick glance at his laptop. "Why, are you tired already? Did your body finally catch up with your grandpa mentality?"

"My body is fine, thank you very much," Daichi assures him.

"Good, because I've got some work to do, and it would suck if I got exiled in my own kitchen."

"It's fine," Daichi says. "I brought some light reading." He bends down to rummage through his bag, and comes out with a book as thick as Kuroo's hand.

"Did you actually carry that in your bag?"

"Some of us still spend time at the gym," Daichi mocks.

"If you think Bokuto doesn't bring me with him everytime he goes, you've lost your touch more than I thought."

"And what do you do there, exactly? Watch him work out?"

"I can strip and show you if you want," Kuroo replies, bringing his hand to the collar of his shirt.

Daichi laughs and pushes Kuroo's hand away. "I thought you were going to work, not show off your barely existent muscles."

Kuroo points at him with a triumphant smile and almost punches Daichi in the nose. "Aha! So you admit they exist!"

"Only so you don't throw me out."

Kuroo kicks him in the leg and retrieves his laptop. They move around and settle on opposite ends of the bed, Daichi with his book, Kuroo hunched over his latest paper. Not for the first time, he curses his decision to go into research before he starts typing.

The evening passes like this, quiet and familiar. By the time Daichi asks if he's done, Kuroo is almost falling asleep, reading and rereading without understand a word of what he's just written.

"Yeah, I think so," he grunts.

Daichi nods and gets up, fetching his toothbrush and toothpaste from his bag before heading to the bathroom. Kuroo uses the opportunity to quickly change into his pajamas. Despite joking about stripping earlier, and the ease with which they've fallen into their old dynamic, the thought of getting naked in front of Daichi makes him uneasy.

That, at least, has changed.

He goes in the bathroom when Daichi comes out, and by the time he’s finished, Daichi has changed into shorts, though he’s kept Kuroo's shirt. He notices Kuroo staring at his chest and looks down, then tugs lightly at it, looking almost self-conscious.

"I hope it's okay if I-"

"Yeah, sure," Kuroo cuts him off. "Don't worry about that."

"Which side do you want?"

Kuroo shrugs. "You can take the wall." It used to be the side Daichi preferred.

Daichi doesn't object. Soon he's tucked into bed under the extra-large blanket Kuroo had dug out of the depths of his closet earlier that day. It's a monstrosity in dimensions, large enough to cover twice the area of the bed, but that means there's plenty to share, and no fight to know who's hoarding the most.

"You good?" Kuroo asks once Daichi's lying down.

"Yeah." Daichi's reply is barely a mumble.

Kuroo turns off the light, then finds his way to the bed and slips under the covers, hoping he's not going so far he'll end up on top of Daichi.

"Goodnight," he whispers in the dark room.

There's a light snore next to him, and Kuroo smiles before he turns on his side and tries to find sleep.

 

* * *

 

Kuroo is disoriented for the first few seconds he's awake, not used to being on this side of the bed and, judging by the leg thrown over his, with someone else in it. Then he remembers Daichi, and turns his head.

Daichi's always looked more relaxed when he sleeps. That hasn't changed. His breathing is slow and deep, soothing to Kuroo’s ears, and his eyelashes look way longer when viewed from this angle. They're close enough that Kuroo catches a hint of Daichi's scent, and he feels a little bit like crying, or burying his face in the crook of Daichi's neck.

Kuroo swallows and looks away - checks his phone. It's way too early to get up so he curls back under the covers, facing Daichi this time, before squeezing his eyes shut.

The second time he wakes up is much more brutal.

"What the _fuck_ ," Kuroo growls, pressing his face further in the pillow in hopes of blocking the light.

"It's almost noon," Daichi replies from somewhere over the window. "You can't sleep all day."

Kuroo sighs and turns on his back, then throws an arm over his face. "That's what days off are made _for_."

"Get up, I made food."

It's a convincing argument - Daichi is a reasonably good cook - but it still takes Kuroo a few minutes to even dare slip a toe out of the comfort of his blanket. By the time he's managed to stand upright and walk over to the kitchen, Daichi has apparently started eating his own meal, smiling at him around a mouthful of eggs. Kuroo emits a pained groan, and Daichi slides a mug of coffee in his direction.

"You found your way around," Kuroo notes, plopping down the second chair.

"Your apartment isn't a maze. Maybe an obstacle course, though," Daichi amends.

A rough and short laugh escapes Kuroo's mouth and he shrugs, then absorbs himself in the ritual of coffee consumption.

"What time do you have to be at the studio?" he asks once he feels like a person again.

Daichi scrapes the last few crumbs off his plate. "Around two, so I guess I should go soon."

"Ah, I should have known," Kuroo says, nodding slowly. "You've become a much too busy man to have time for me."

"I spent the entire evening with you yesterday, and I'm not leaving until tomorrow," Daichi reminds him with an amused smile. "Quit complaining."

"Never. It's my right as an individual."

"Isn't it supposed to be 'you have the right to remain silent'?"

Kuroo shrugs. "They're not mutually exclusive."

"Maybe not," Daichi says, "but I really wish you had a preference for the right of silence."

He laughs when Kuroo replies with a grimace, and gets up to wash his dishes. Kuroo watches him absently while he eats. His kitchen is already fairly small, but having Daichi in it seriously highlights it; he has barely enough space to walk between the table and the kitchen counter.

"Do you want a ride?" Kuroo asks.

Daichi glances at him, and actually seems to ponder the offer before replying. "It's alright, I'll call a taxi."

"I'm awake enough to drive!"

"But nowhere near presentable enough."

"There's this marvelous invention," Kuroo starts, "called a showe-"

Daichi holds up a hand covered in soap bubbles. "It's alright, I told you I'll take a taxi."

Kuroo slumps back in his chair and tilts his head backwards until it's resting against the wall. "You just can't wait to get rid of me."

"Yes," Daichi replies with a snort. "That's exactly it."

"I'm very hurt."

Daichi turns off the water and gives him a pointed look. "Eat instead of whining, that should help."

Kuroo sticks out his tongue at him, and Daichi throws the towel he just wiped his hands with at him.

"I'll go shower and change," he announces. "Please don't interrupt."

Kuroo snickers and watches him walk over to where his bags are. "What kind of warning is that? You know I'm as innocent as a newborn lamb."

"You should try shepherding sometime," Daichi suggests. "That would change your outlook on lambs."

"Yeah, sure." Kuroo pauses. "Wait. Did you go live in the mountains to take care of sheeps without telling me?" Daichi stands up, clothes in hand, and smiles at him before going to the bathroom. "Daichi? Is that what you were doing last summer? Are there _pictures?_ "

Kuroo hears the bathroom door close, and that's the only answer he gets.

It's alright. If there are any pictures, he's certain Suga would give them to him. Maybe he won't even have to negotiate for them.

Kuroo finishes his food and dumps his dishes in the sink, fully determined to do them and clean the table _later_ , then his eyes fall on the clean plates Daichi put on the drying rack, and he groans audibly before going back and getting the sponge.

He finishes around the time Daichi gets out. Kuroo hears him hum a song he doesn't recognize, and feels his lips curl into a smile before he can stop himself.

He gives a quick look at the table and deems is reasonably clean, then goes back to the living room. Sure enough, Daichi is fussing about, folding his own clothes and rearranging the papers on Kuroo's coffee table, still humming.

"Looks like someone is a little bit nervous," Kuroo remarks.

Daichi jumps then glares at him. "Who wouldn't be?"

"Don't worry, they'll put enough makeup on you to make you look like a different man, nobody will have to see your ugly mug."

"You like my ugly mug," Daichi deadpans.

Kuroo grins. "You've always told me I have horrible taste."

"I guess we just found the only surprising exception, then."

"Yeah, maybe," Kuroo concedes. "So, about the shepherd thing-"

"I'm gonna go call for a taxi and wait in front of the building," Daichi interrupts him, his ears taking a nice red colour.

Kuroo whistles and watches him get his coat and bag. "So _that's_ what you were doing when nobody but Suga could reach you."

"Clearly it was the right decision," Daichi says. "I'll see you later."

"Wait!"

Daichi stops and looks surprised when Kuroo doesn't keep going on about his summer vacation - though Kuroo is seriously _dying_ to know more. Instead, he opens the top drawer of his desk and reaches into the back, pulling out a ring of keys.

"I'm going to Yaku's tonight, you might come back earlier than me," he explains as he gives the doubles to Daichi. "Don't lose them, they cost a fortune to have remade."

"I assume that means this isn't the original set of doubles," Daichi remarks.

Kuroo holds up his hands. "I am sworn to secrecy. And oh look, you have to go, no time to pry!"

"Don't worry," Daichi assures, sitting down to lace his shoes, "I'll ask you later."

Kuroo leans against the wall and crosses his arms. "I'll look forward to it."

Daichi stands up when he's done and takes a deep breath, and Kuroo has to pinch himself before asking if he wants a kiss for luck.

"You're gonna do great," he says instead.

Daichi looks at him and nods, a little dazed. "Yeah. I'll try."

Kuroo can't help but smile. He unfolds his limbs and joins Daichi in the entrance, then opens the door for him on the white, well-lit hallway.

"Have a good day at work, honey," Kuroo coos when he turns back.

Daichi narrows his eyes at the pet name. "I hate you."

"And you have the opportunity to say it on live national television! Don't waste it," Kuroo replies.

Daichi looks like he wants to say something, but he just sighs, and with his coat on one arm and his bag hanging from the other, he sets out to take the stairs.

"Good luck!" Kuroo calls after him.

The last he sees of Daichi before the staircase's door closes behind him is a small smile and a half-hearted wave, and then he's gone.

Kuroo stays like that for a moment, looking at the empty corridor with a strange weight on his heart.

He shakes his head and closes the door.

 

* * *

 

Kuroo spends most of his time that evening talking to Yaku's teammates. He knows them well enough by now to talk about things other than volleyball, and he's having a good time - up until Tora crashes into him and engulfs him in a bone-crushing hug, spilling Kuroo's beer all over them both.

"Hi," Kuroo tries to say, muffled by all the muscle. "Glad to see you too."

"How've you been, man?" Tora yells right into his ear before releasing him.

Kuroo puts a hand on his own chest to make sure everything is intact. "Good, just got a ton of writing to do. And you?"

"The time of my life, dude," Tora replies, solemnly holding his cup for a toast. "Of. My. Life. I should’ve transferred to Yaku's team _months_ ago, they know how to have fun!"

Kai appears out of nowhere and plucks the cup out of Tora's unsteady hands. "Go get water."

"You're not my dad," Tora retorts, glaring at him.

Kai looks back, raising an eyebrow, and Kuroo erupts into hysterical laughter at how soon Tora gives up and complies, though accompanied by a stream of grumbled protests.

"This never gets old," he sighs.

"Alcohol gives strange hopes to people," Kai nods. "He would remember that he always loses otherwise."

"I haven't seen Yaku yet, is he somewhere in here or did he run away from his own party?"

Kai laughs, the sound lost in the noise of conversations around them. "No, he's over there on the couch."

He takes Kuroo by the shoulder and guides him between the other guests while Kuroo tries to gauge how sticky his shirt is. Soon enough they find the couch; there are five people piled on it, but Kuroo and Kai manage to wiggle into the tiny bit of space left to Yaku's left.

"Hey dude," Yaku greets him. "Having a good time?"

"Kind of lost my beer in a collision with Tora," Kuroo replies, "but yeah. How did you fit so many people in your shoebox?"

"Physics," Yaku retorts with a shrug.

The television is playing in the background, some kind of program about lobsters.

"Do you have the remote?" Kuroo asks.

Yaku pulls it out from between two cushions but withholds it with a suspicious look. "Why do you want it?"

"Daichi's thing is tonight."

"Oh. Here."

Kuroo switches channels, provoking a disappointed exclamation from someone who was apparently very into marine fauna. Daichi is already in the middle of the interview, but Kuroo notes that he's looking at ease, way more than when he'd left earlier this afternoon.

"Did you read the book?" Kai asks.

"Yeah," Kuroo and Yaku reply at the same time. Kuroo immediately slaps his hand over Yaku's mouth and continues. "It's actually really good."

Yaku bites his palm, forcing Kuroo to remove his hand with a yelp. "Who would have thought he'd become a successful author? I can still remember him herding Karasuno's players in the gym. I figured he'd do something more like pre-school teacher or coach."

"He considered it for a while," Kuroo says. "I think he drained all his reserves of patience with Karasuno, though."

"Nah, he dated you for two years," Yaku retorts. "He must’ve had _some_ left."

"I'll have you know I'm a fucking delight."

Kai shushes them with precision perfected by years of practice, just in time for them to hear the interviewer’s next question.

"An important part of your book deals with relationships, friendly or romantic alike. How much of it is inspired by your own life?"

Daichi laughs, and Kuroo can understand why. Some of the characters in the book had reminded him very, _very_ strongly of Karasuno's players. And Fukurodani's. And Nekoma's.

"A lot, to be absolutely honest," Daichi replies. "I'm lucky enough to have a lively bunch of friends. I know some real characters."

" _That's_ one way to put it," Yaku grumbles.

Kuroo leans down and elbows him a little. "Aaaw, are you saying that for me? I'm flattered."

Yaku gives him a flat look. "Yes. You're awful, but you're noticeably awful. I guess at least you're not an ass for nothing."

Kuroo puts Yaku in a headlock, and the next few seconds of the interview are lost for everyone in the short fight that ensues. Eventually, Yaku pokes Kuroo savagely enough to make him let go, and they all settle back.

Somehow, the atmosphere on screen has changed; the camera is trained on Daichi's face, and he has that look, soft eyes and head tilted just a little bit on the side, that means he's trying the find a right answer. Kuroo can see him trying not to chew on his lip, a bad habit Dachi had picked up from him.

Eventually, Daichi exhales. "Yes, I've been in love."

"Ooooh, that should be good!" someone exclaims - maybe Tora. Kuroo doesn't know. His eyes are fixed on the screen, and he feels weirdly hot.

"Would you feel comfortable telling us about it?" the hostess prompts Daichi gently when he doesn't keep going.

Daichi gives an obvious glance to the camera, and then he nods, as oblivious as everyone to the way Kuroo's heart stutters.

"There isn't much to tell anymore. We broke up two years ago, but stayed friends. I was moving and with the directions our lives were taking, we didn't think long-distance would work. I'm afraid it's not very exciting," he adds with an apologetic smile.

Kuroo's chest feel a little tight. He'd known, back then, of course, but it's different to hear it coming out of Daichi's mouth even now. Something a little bit like pride and a lot like nostalgia swells in his chest, and he almost misses the next question.

"If I may ask, do you have anyone in your life right now?"

Daichi laughs, but his shoulders are a little too stiff to move along. "No, no there's - there hasn't really been another person since."

The interviewer looks a little bit disappointed, but she moves on, returning to the book.

Kuroo has no idea what she’s saying even though his eyes are fixed on the screen. A cold sweat trickles down his neck.

"Hey," Kai says, nudging him. "Kuroo?"

"I," Kuroo starts, then finds that there’s nothing. "He. _I_."

"Oh fuck. It broke him," Yaku mutters, digging his fingers painfully hard into Kuroo's arm as he tries to turn him around. "Can you hear us?"

Kuroo can hear perfectly fine, even though most of the others are tactfully ignoring his meltdown and keeping their own conversation going. He just can't process the words out of Yaku and Kai's mouth, because he's stuck on _Daichi_.

"Come on," Kai suggests, sliding an arm around his waist and pulling him up. "I'll take care of him."

Kuroo lets himself be guided to the kitchen and gently sat down on a chair. The rush of cold air when Kai opens the fridge is welcome against his burning skin, but does nothing to clear his head.

It's not even that difficult to grasp. Daichi loved him. He _knew_ that.

"Here," Kai says, handing him a glass half-full of ice-cold water.

Kuroo takes a small, grateful sip in silence while Kai sits next to him, patient as ever.

"This is so stupid," Kuroo says.

Kai shrugs. "Yaku would agree."

Kuroo looks up. "But not you?"

"He wouldn't agree for the same reasons you're whining," Kai clarifies with a smile.

Kuroo groans and rakes his hand through his hair. "Do you think you could cooperate and put me out of my misery instead of making me guess half of the conversation?"

Kai grins, and links his fingers before letting his chin rest on them. "We're all aware that you're still in love with Daichi."

Kuroo spits out the water across the table. Kai calmly hands him a paper towel as he keeps going. "It's not that surprising that hearing him say he loved you on national television would affect you."

"I'm not-"

"Maybe ‘in love’ isn't the right term anymore, since it's been some time," Kai continues, "but you can't say you've dated any more than he apparently has."

"I was busy," Kuroo protests feebly.

His attempt at standing his ground dies even faster than Tora's under Kai's knowing gaze, and he looks away and rubs at his face.

"Even so," he sighs, "it doesn't change anything. I was just surprised."

"Because you thought he'd moved on."

Kuroo casts a suspicious glance at his friend. "Get out of my head."

"As much as I'd like to claim mind-reading powers, I'm just quoting things _you've_ told us," Kai reminds him.

"Oh, even better," Kuroo deadpans. "You're using my words better than I ever have. Against me."

Kai smiles. "You make it very easy."

Kuroo shakes his head with a smile, then slowly drinks the rest of his water.

"You know," Kai starts again after a moment of quiet, "it might just be an idea, but if neither of you has moved on..."

"He's obviously moved on with his life," Kuroo points out.

"That doesn't mean he doesn't want you in it."

Kuroo's grip around the glass tightens and he grits his teeth. He shouldn't hope for this, he really shouldn't. He doesn't want to go through that pain again.

"I was doing _so fine_ not thinking about it."

Kai pats him on the shoulder. "Not that good of a job obviously, or you wouldn't be in this state."

"Thank you," Kuroo says dryly.

"Anytime."

Kuroo gives himself a few more seconds of reflection, staring into the empty glass like it holds the secrets of the universe. "I'm guessing I should go talk to him, right?"

"Better than pining after him for two more years." Kuroo glares at him, but Kai is unaffected. "At least you'll know where he stands."

Kuroo drops his head against the table with a dull thud. "God, I hate when you're right."

 

* * *

 

The door opens and Kuroo jumps, even though it's all he's been waiting for. He exchanged his soiled shirt for a clean one, but has been otherwise busy sitting at the kitchen table and bouncing his leg.

Daichi drops his bag and throws his jacket on the bed, then notices Kuroo. His jaw goes a little slack before he catches himself. "You're here."

"Well, yeah, it's _my_ place after all," Kuroo replies.

A small, obnoxious laugh escapes him, and he fights the urge to slap a hand on his mouth to keep it shut.

"I know that," Daichi retorts, but Kuroo notices his shoulders are a little less tense. "I thought you were spending the evening at Yaku's place."

Kuroo shrugs helplessly, watching as Daichi takes off his shoes and goes to the kitchen corner to turn on the kettle. "I was. I just didn't really feel like staying." He chews on his lip. "Got beer all over my shirt, too, and it's not like I can borrow Yaku's."

"That explains the smell. You should have showered, too," Daichi says, flashing Kuroo a smile over his shoulder before taking out two mugs.

"Later. How was the show?"

Daichi pauses for half a second, then he speaks up, his eyes fixed on the boiling water. "Fine. We talked about the book for a bit, and then they asked a lot of questions."

"What kind?" Kuroo asks, the words burning his tongue.

Daichi shifts, still not looking at him. He's getting a little red, maybe from the heat. "What it's like to be a writer, what I do when I have free time, if I have any thoughts on Miyagi's mascot. Just," he waves a hand in Kuroo's general direction, "normal stuff."

The words spill out before Kuroo can stop them: "We watched the interview."

Daichi freezes for a long, long heartbeat, then slowly, almost as if he's afraid to break it, turns off the kettle, and leans on the counter with a sigh.

"What did you - "

"You never told me." Daichi clenches his hands, but he's still not looking at him, so Kuroo keeps going. "That you didn't date anymore."

"What would be the point?"

Maybe there isn't one. Maybe Kuroo is rushing right into a wall.

"I haven't either," he says. "Dated."

Daichi finally turns his head at that, eyebrows raised in surprise. Kuroo starts to bounce his leg again, and sends a prayer to whatever god is listening that he isn't making the worst mistake of his life.

"But I thought - " Daichi stutters. "There was this girl, Miyu - "

"Just because everyone teased me about her doesn't mean we actually went out," Kuroo huffs.

"So there was - "

"Nobody."

Daichi's mouth hangs open for a couple of seconds. "Oh."

Kuroo clasps his hands together to have something to hold onto and takes a deep breath. "Truth is, I never really got over you. I tried, believe me," he laughs, and hopes Daichi never finds out about how many hangovers he'd had in the months following the break-up. "But you're not easily forgettable."

Daichi makes a strangled noise, and comes to sit at the table, tea completely forgotten. He hesitates for a second, then takes Kuroo's hands and pries them apart before leaving them open, palms up. Kuroo entire body feels weak, and he lets him, then watches as it's Daichi's turn to thread his fingers together.

"I did date." Kuroo's heart makes a spectacular freefall down to his stomach during the small pause Daichi marks. "I just never really found someone who I could work with as well as - as well as I worked with you," Daichi admits, looking resolutely at his hands. "I didn't look very hard, but when I did, it didn't feel..."

Kuroo's mouth is dry. "Right?"

"Yeah," Daichi nods. "I guess."

"And yesterday?"

Daichi opens his mouth, then stops, and Kuroo swears his heart has jumped out of his chest altogether. Then Daichi lets his hands fall apart and rest on the table, almost close enough to brush Kuroo's.

"Yesterday did," he admits, saying the words with such carefulness that each syllable has a life of its own. "And so did this morning. I thought it was just - nostalgia, or something like it."

"Maybe there was a bit of that," Kuroo offers.

"Maybe."

Kuroo uncurls his fingers just enough that the tips are touching Daichi's, and they both tense, but neither of them pulls back.

"I mean it," Kuroo says. "I still have feelings for you. Honestly, it was torture to have you here,” he adds with a smile, looking up at Daichi's face and meeting his eyes. "I hadn't taken that into account when I told you to come stay with me."

"If it makes you feel better, I wasn't expecting to feel like that either," Daichi confesses.

"Feel like what?"

Daichi's face turns a lovely shade of red. "Like I can't keep my hands off you. I was practically spooning you when I woke up."

Kuroo laughs, and their fingers get tangled together. "I'm jealous now, I didn't get to enjoy that."

"I stand by my decision to not tell you. You would have been even more insufferable."

Kuroo can't resist. "But that's how you love me."

Daichi laughs, looking away for a moment. "Maybe."

Kuroo bites his lip, then decides he's really got nothing left to lose here.

"Do you think we could," he lets one of Daichi's hands go to gesture between them, "try this again?"

Daichi's smiles turns rueful. "There would be the same problem, though."

"Long distance, yeah," Kuroo nods, "but it's different now."

"Is it?"

"I just spent two years without seeing you at all, and I didn't die of it." Kuroo grins and waits for Daichi to return it before continuing. "We called each other enough to stay friends, and we didn't drift apart one bit, even though you're a disaster with technology more advanced than a payphone. Hell, the minute you were in my apartment, if felt like no time had passed at all. And we have more money now, we can actually take the train or the plane."

Daichi frowns. "And you'd be fine with a relationship like that?"

"If you are, yeah," Kuroo replies simply.

"And if I'm not?"

"Then we'll be friends anyway, but with that question cleared. It's a win-win," Kuroo says.

Daichi looks down at their hands again, and Kuroo stays silent. He's laid out everything he has. His heart is beating at a normal pace, even though it should be erratic and all over the place.

But whatever the outcome, he'll still have Daichi. That's the most reassuring thing there could be.

Eventually, Daichi sighs and hangs his head, but when he looks up the corner of his mouth is trembling with a smile. "There must be some truth to it when you brag about your charm."

"Of course there is," Kuroo replies, feeling Daichi's hand cover his.

"I want to," Daichi says. "Try, I mean."

"Good."

"Slow, though. And if we feel like it's not working, we can stop, no hard feelings," he adds.

Kuroo grins. "I have only soft feelings for you."

Daichi's next words are lost in a cough, and Kuroo is very pleased to see that his neck is bright red too this time. "You're a menace," he mutters.

"You can't get rid of me."

"Keep your friends close and your enemies closer, is that it?"

"Lucky for you I'm both."

Daichi's dry tone is softened by his smile. "How lucky, indeed."

"Which means you should hold me _very close_."

"Kuroo - "

"In fact," Kuroo continues, waggling his eyebrows, "we should go on the bed so you have an optimal setting for it."

“Fine.” Daichi rolls his eyes but he gets up, pulling Kuroo with him. "But first, come here."

He stands on his toes and Kuroo bends down a little in response, then Daichi kisses him on the cheek, soft and sweet, before pulling back with a smile that widens when Kuroo sputters.

"Follow me, you dangerous man," he quips. "I must spoon you until you surrender."

"Oh, I'm surrendering right now, but... Can we still do the spooning?"

**Author's Note:**

> [twitter](https://twitter.com/symph0rine/status/863659507175505920) | [tumblr](http://asexualkurootetsurou.tumblr.com/post/160649656454)
> 
> ANYWAY HOPE Y'ALL LIKED IT, I LOVE KURODAI AND I LOVE AMANDA, HAVE A NICE DAY


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